James Himm Mitchell’s 3 Points to Living the Life You Want
One of the things that pains me is when people say that they are unhappy with their lives. I was one of those people.
When I was in my early 20s, I contemplated suicide a lot, and attempted it once. One of the things I realized through that experience was that I had no idea of what I wanted my life to be like, in addition to being stuck in the belief that there was nothing I could do to change it. Divine intervention stepped in and changed that in a major way (those of you interested in that story, contact me—I love sharing it!).
That intervention set me on a path in which I started becoming clear on what my life is about. One of the things my life is about is having a platform to share my experiences with others, with the intention, the hope, and the belief that those experiences will inspire, enlighten, and motivate people to move forward in creating the lives they really want to live.
The 3 Points to Living the Life You Want
I believe there are three simple points for you to live the life you want to live, and here they are:
- Know who you are.
This first point is actually the most important. You can’t live the life you really want to live without really knowing who you are as a person.
Notice how I said really. Sometimes, we can get caught up in living according to someone else’s ideals, standards, and expectations. When we do that, we lose sight of who we are, and spend our lives being who other people want, or need, us to be. We live our lives by the truth of others instead of our own truth. Then we create lives of resentment, anger, and bitterness focused at these other people, when, in reality, we have chosen to live life in that way.
Part of knowing who you are is knowing what makes you you. What is your personality like? What are your interests, your hobbies, your passions? What makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you angry? What are your values? What are your needs and wants (and they are not the same thing, by the way!)? All of these things can provide the clues to help you realize what kind of life you want to live.
- Know what you want for your life.
What do you want out of your life? In my experience, when this question is posed to people, they immediately go into listing what they don’t want, they never get around to stating what they do want. This is important. You can’t create the life that you want to live if you aren’t clear on what it is you want.
A great way to become clear is to ask yourself, “What does my life look like now that I have everything that I want? Who am I now? What am I doing now? How am I living day-to day now?” The last three questions are significant, as life is about being (Who am I now?), doing (What am I doing now?) and having (How am I living day to-day?).
When you are stuck in life, or experiencing a setback, challenge, or obstacle, a great question to always ask yourself is this: “So, what do I want?” In Christian scripture, this concept is explained in Proverbs 29:18: “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” (The Everyday Life Bible, Amplified Version)
- Know how you are going to accomplish those things.
Once you know who you are and what you want your life to become, the next thing you need to know is how you are going to accomplish that. This means knowing what your plan is, your strategy to move yourself forward.
I said at the beginning these points were simple, and they are. The truth is always simple. We, as human beings, have the belief that things must be complicated in order to be achieved. But they are simple.
Now, did I say they were easy? No. Creating the life you really want to live requires commitment, work, and effort on your part.
The Role of Coaching in Creating the Life You Want to Live
This is where coaching can help. Coaching is about helping you move forward, getting you from where you are now to where you want to be.
This space is known as “the gap.” The gap is the space a coach helps you walk through. The gap is your wilderness, that place where all your stuff comes up: those ideas, beliefs, and attitudes that can hinder us, and keep us from achieving the things needed to really live the life we want to live.
Coaching is a process in which you get to really know who you are; I always say that coaching is a process of self-discovery—and it is.
The role of the coach is to be your partner and ally in your process of finding your answers and solutions to the challenges you are facing in life that are keeping you stuck.
Coaching is a process that unlocks your limited vision, opening you up to the bigger vision of two things: you and your life. The coach is your partner in helping you create the life you really want to be living!
For more information about my coaching and how it can benefit you in moving forward and creating the life you want (and are ready) to live, check out my Services page.
Your partner, standing in “the gap,”
James