The Theme Song of Your Life is Playing in Your Business
Do you believe your life has a theme song?
I do.
I believe the playlist of our life has that number one song—a song that plays in the background of our experiences. For some of us, it plays every now and again, much like being on “shuffle” in your music player; for others, it plays on a repeating loop, much like a song that’s stuck in your head and you can’t get it out—until you get sick and tired of hearing it.
Recently, I was thinking about this, and asked myself: If my life were a song, what song would it be?
The answer came immediately: Control, by Janet Jackson. The lyrics really tell my story…
In my twenties, I spent a great deal of my time and energy breaking free from the “control’ of some key players in my life at the time—once I became aware of the pattern, much like that song playing on repeat.
But I realized it had shown up in my thinking and speaking about experiences earlier than that.
For instance, my mother would take me to get my haircut. She’d tell the barber how to cut it—and I always hated her instructions, because she would have him cut it too short for my liking. And I would sit in the chair crying the entire time. Every time. And each and every time, I would think and say to myself, “When I get to be a grown up, no one is ever going to tell me how to have my hair cut.” Control.
Another example: My mother would make dinner, making food I didn’t particularly like or want to eat (I was a very picky eater). My mother would have all sorts of tactics to try and make me eat those foods. She would put pictures of starving children on the corkboard on the wall above the table. She would call her friends from the police department, having them drop by, telling me that little boys who don’t eat their food go to jail. The most common tactic was just to simply have me sit at the table until the food was gone (much like the scene in Mommy Dearest).
And, like the hair cutting situation, I would think and say that when I became an adult, I was only going to eat the things I wanted. Control.
In my dreams (and my ability for recall was nothing like it is now that I work with dreams professionally), two distinct dreams stand out: In one, I was being chased by my mother—who was a 50 ft. giant woman (remember that old B-movie?); in another, I was being chased (again) by my manager at my job at the time. He was chasing me up a never-ending spiral staircase. In each dream, each of them almost had me in their grasp—but I always managed to evade them. See the pattern? Trying to escape the clutches of authority figures—Control.
I also realized this song was playing in the background when I wanted to become a comic book cartoonist. I was looking to secure work with the two big comic book companies at the time, and was getting nothing but rejection notice and rejection notice. I then had the idea of “doing it myself” (which became my first entrepreneurial endeavor!). Why? I said that I wanted to work free from editorial control, and I wanted to write and draw my own stories with my own characters. Control.
The song played again, when I was a manager in my corporate retail job, prior to becoming an entrepreneur (more consciously this time than the last, I might add). My manager would want to walk my department prior to my leaving for the day. Quite understandable—he was just doing his job, as he had a manager to answer to.
When he would walk with me, he would question some things—again, just doing his job. My reaction, however, spoke volumes to me—about me. I would think to myself how I didn’t appreciate his questioning my decisions, judgment, my authority. Control—and it was like having the song on blast, playing on the system that was pumping music throughout the building.
I realized that I needed and valued autonomy in my work.
My inner coach spoke up and asked me, “What can you do to have this need met?”
The answer came quickly: “Be in business for myself.”
It was that moment—along with other environmental factors—that led me to eventually leave the position and start my business.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because, as a coach, strategist, and consultant, I work with many solopreneurs who are starting up non-traditional, spiritually-based business—much like I did years ago.
If you are such a person, I want you to think about the theme song of your life, and how you have had it play out in your life—and your work—in the past. How is that song, at the top of your playlist, playing in the background as you start your business?
Take some time to really listen to the lyrics of the song; what values does it reveal about you—and what you need to have in your business?
Well, I’ve shared my theme song, and now it’s your turn. What’s yours?
What have you learned about yourself having this song be a part of the soundtrack of your life? How does it play out in your entrepreneurial endeavors?
I’d love to hear about it. Tell me all about it in the comments section below, so we can jam to it!
Your partner in listening to the music,
James